Friday, February 15, 2013

12 things to do while unemployed

In this economy, these tips will come more than handy

1. Look for a new Job (Pimp yourself out to everyone and anyone who’ll have you, dump your pride out the window)

2. Cry yourself to sleep in the wee hours of the morning when you don’t find a job

3. Sleep in everyday; don’t wake up before noon (No matter what anyone says)

4. Finish the ‘One hundred books to read before you die’ list (It’s a fabulous collection, a definite must read, 
and hey, now you have the time; use it.).

5. Watch re-runs of all the tv shows you missed when you were busy working (That is if you can still afford cable, if not, go for Netflix)

6. Watch all the Disney animated movies ever made from Silly Symphonies to Monsters University; you need to be a kid again

7. Eat like crazy, binge on crappy fast food that has zero nutritional value, you need to let yourself go (Your severance package and unemployment benefits aren’t going to last forever anyway)

8. Feel sorry for yourself

9. Blog about being unemployed

10. Follow your creative pursuits, finish that book of poetry that your professor in college said reminded him of Keats or get around to writing the Great American Novel (God knows, how we need more of those)

11. Stalk your successful friends on facebook and twitter while being overcome with self loathing

12. And last but not least; make piece with the fact that you may never be employed again and that you may die in poverty, utterly penniless (This should fit in perfectly with your creative pursuits, the struggling artist and all that)

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